Name them pet peeves, name them petty grievances, one factor is sure – complaining about on a regular basis irritations feels cathartic. It’s additionally the premise of American comedy podcast I’ve Had It.
Hosts Jennifer Welch and Angie “Pumps” Sullivan state, tongue in cheek, that their aim is to compartmentalise complaining and be nicer of their day-to-day life. Their complaints vary from pedestrian (cordless vacuums, individuals who clap when a airplane lands, lengthy Instagram captions) to political (the state of the schooling system). Eyebrow-raising complaints embrace, merely, “pregnant folks”.
Since launching in late 2022, I’ve Had It has topped Apple’s podcast charts, grow to be viral on each TikTok and X a number of instances, and has led the hosts to guest-star on applications comparable to The As we speak Present. This podcast’s recognition throughout platforms alerts a cultural shift from “poisonous positivity” to indulgent pettiness – however a shift away from positivity into absolutely embracing complaints is just not with out danger.
Poisonous positivity, emotional influencers
As community-minded creatures who need deeply to belong we typically mirror others, together with on social media, the place we undertake phrasing, tone and expressions of emotion.
Up to now few years, social media has had a deal with hyper-positivity (assume cheery emojis and motivational quotes plastered over sunsets). Some put this “good vibes solely” development down to the pandemic and a want to keep away from painful emotions when ruminating on tough realities.
Nevertheless, making an attempt to convey fixed happiness is just not solely tough however unimaginable. Analysis suggests prescriptive positivity can make us react poorly to unfavourable feelings and is a “aim that backfires” when folks view themselves as a failure for feeling sad, wrestle to deal with their emotions, or actively keep away from processing them.
However now poisonous positivity has been named and shamed, individuals are looking for extra emotionally nuanced media.
The I’ve Had It hosts are in a brand new wave of content material creators we will think about “emotional influencers”, on this case contributing to a brand new media panorama the place complaining is just not solely embraced however inspired.
Curated closeness
By placing our “retaliation” in opposition to unfavorable experiences into phrases, we expertise pleasurable feelings. Complaining can really feel cathartic, cut back stress, and (like gossiping) assist us really feel nearer to others.
This neighborhood facet of complaining fits podcasting, which fosters intimacy by sharing deeply private tales “instantly into our ear” and “chosen only for you”.
Listening to hosts who really feel like our associates, who’re associates themselves, having a chat and sharing laughter could make us really feel socially fulfilled in an identical method to a video chat or digital message with a real-life good friend.
In I’ve Had It, the hosts and their company share private complaints and unfiltered tales in a curated strategy for bond-forming. We all know, for instance, that Jennifer’s husband Josh (a daily visitor) has struggled with habit and that Jennifer has “had it” with household week at his rehab centre. We additionally know Pumps as soon as tried to alleviate constipation with a teaspoon.
Government producer Kiley has grow to be a daily function, laughing on the hosts’ antics and appearing as an viewers surrogate. Followers are concerned within the present by way of voice messages, opinions and as company themselves.
These components mix to offer a way there’s potential to grow to be “actual life” associates with Jennifer and Pumps: the promotional tagline for his or her dwell reveals is “make your parasocial friendship actual”.
Whereas complaining brings folks collectively, it will probably additionally push us aside by ostracisation or rejection. Though the aim of I’ve Had It is to compartmentalise pettiness, this can be simpler for the hosts than the listeners.
Jennifer and Pumps are two undeniably prosperous, well-connected girls who’ve leveraged their privilege to construct a platform about complaining. Additionally they amp-up their on-air personas, with Jennifer admitting, “I’m not as cold-hearted as I play on the podcast”.
Identical to prescriptive positivity can grow to be “poisonous” when it comes at the expense of different feelings, an overemphasis on grievances can breed negativity, or result in passsive-aggressive and oblique communication kinds.
Indulging in extreme pettiness also can make us much less likeable, alienate our family members and worsen our psychological well being.
Embracing idiocy
Some commenters are essential of Jennifer and Pumps’ promotion of negativity. The hosts see this as fodder. They learn essential opinions, double-down on complaints and giggle collectively, cleverly disarming the criticism.
Jennifer and Pumps are much more desperate to mock those that take subject with their political beliefs. In response to a reviewer accusation that they’re “each a few leftist idiots” the pair giggle. Jennifer states, “I couldn’t agree extra […] I say thanks, we are leftist, we are idiots”.
Finally, I’ve Had It concedes there’s a sort of “idiocy” to pettiness, however there’s pleasure and appeal too.
Analysis suggests glad folks will be complainers, so long as they’ve an excellent grasp of mindfulness and know when to cease.
In the event you, admittedly like me, take pleasure in an excellent bout of complaining now and once more, however wish to preserve your feelings balanced and your relationships intact, there are some things the consultants advocate. It’s vital to distinguish when you should enact “expressive complaining” to blow off steam or when it is best to complain “instrumentally” with a aim in thoughts. Discuss about how one thing makes you are feeling, so others can emphasise with you. Ask your family members’ permission to complain earlier than revving up a rant.
What about those that aren’t eager on complaining in any respect? Nicely, as far because the hosts and followers of I’ve Had It are involved, you needn’t tune in. And, in the event you do determine to depart a remark decrying their pettiness, be warned it can make for some nice content material within the subsequent episode.
Marina Deller is Informal Tutorial, Flinders College.
This text was first printed on The Dialog.