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LONDON – Christmas! A time for giving.
However what do you get the political nerd who has all the things?
Take POLITICO by the hand and see what delights you too might be scrabbling round for days after the primary occasion in a bid to show you positively, 100% care about and perceive that whole dweeb who retains banging on about one thing referred to as “Playbook.”
In Liz We Truss shirt
“In Liz We Truss,” says this fetching T-shirt, which presumably will final you a bit longer than the 49 days Britain’s disaster-prone Conservative former prime minister managed.
Far be it from us to recommend Tory HQ are offloading these on eBay en masse.
Sparkle with Starmer shirt
Hey guys, we’re not a humorless, technocratic political get together led by a person Boris Johnson as soon as described as a “human bollard.”
You see, we took an embarrassing get together convention protest and turned it right into a T-shirt, thereby proudly owning the joke! It’s humorous! We did a humorous! VOTE FOR US.
Christine Jardine fridge magnet
Say it in fashion with a lo-resolution JPEG of the equalities spokesperson for Britain’s fourth-ranking political get together — on a fridge magnet! “Appropriate for each fridges AND freezers,” says the Lib Dem web site hopefully. Yours for a discount £1.50.
Margaret Thatcher bauble
Nothing says festive cheer like a £19 Christmas tree decoration mashing up an opinion on nearer European integration with a Santa quote. Has the saving grace of being utterly smashable. Additionally accessible in knitted sweater type.
Labour bauble
Who stated Labour and the Tories are nearly indistinguishable?
By no means desirous to be outdone, Starmer and co. provide a extra worker-friendly £10 set of baubles adorned with the sort of rousing political slogan iconic post-Conflict PM Clement Attlee might solely dream of: “Win ‘24.”
There’s a badge model too, in case you shun the respect of others.
Lib Dem Christmas ‘card’
“Seasons greetings,” reads a font straight from the sixteenth century on this too-good-to-buy Snowman Christmas Card from the Liberal Democrats.
Three equally-sized Lib Dem logos act as buttons, whereas all the important thing snowman colours — gray for snow and a yellow for a carrot — get a glance in. Microsoft Paintbrush circa 1994 referred to as: it needs its mad design skillz again.
SNP snow globe
Collect the household across the hearth and kick up an SNP snowstorm. Makes a change from this 12 months’s infinite SNP s**t-storm, we suppose.
‘Future Labour PM’ babygro
Nicely we got here to sneer at this, but it surely’s “out of inventory,” so someone is clearly shopping for “Future Labour PM” babygro.
Maybe it’s all the uber-loyalist toddlers being parachuted into protected seats.
Lib Dem earrings
Babe what’s unsuitable, you’ve barely touched your Lib Dem earrings? Nice for engineering a painful breakup.
Keir Starmer flip-flops
It’s not simply Labour who could make ‘em snicker! These humorous bunnies in Tory central workplace additionally know the right way to do a “humor.” This set of Keir Starmer flip-flops doesn’t simply scream fashion — it’s truly additionally very, very humorous.
You see, Starmer tends to — and simply stick with us right here, it’s a really difficult joke — flip, and, certainly, flop, on issues of coverage! So that you see the joke is, effectively, that Keir Starmer “flip flops.” And so that they put that on some flip-flops! What a riot! How can these guys be 20 factors behind within the polls?!
A Brexity Tory Christmas card
Image the scene: morning time. You hear the postman arrive. A card! Pretty handwriting on the envelope. Just a little snowman sticker for a seal. How considerate! Somebody loves you. It’s auntie Julie’s writing. You haven’t heard from her in ages. You tear it open in delight. You see this.
You seal the postbox shut ceaselessly. You begin on the lookout for a brand new home. You weep.
