After the Terrible Emmys, Crock of Selection Awards and Ugly Globes, the Grammys swooped in to re-start the music.
Sheltered from a storm-soaked LA within the Crypto.com Area, it was a welcome night time of cathartic crescendo bliss, scorching senoritas, unhealthy hair and bombshell secret poetry golf equipment.
Heck, it was the perfect awards ceremony I’ve seen in years!
I used to be braced for tiresome Trevor Noah to suck the oxygen out the room together with his pneumatic self-focus, however – first shock reveal of the night time – he was truly an effortlessly hilarious host, respiration life into an occasion which absolutely began with one of many worst pink carpets in historical past. (What WAS Doja Cat – in that nipple peekaboo, brow tattoo monstrosity – considering?)
Second shock reveal: Meryl Streep is musky Mark Ronson’s mother-in-law… Who knew?!
In contrast to the dismal torture of Jo Koy’s Globes disaster, Noah did not succumb to buttsuckery, roasting superstar and sucker alike, even highlighting Queen Taylor’s late arrival (’as she strikes by the room, the native economic system improves’) and lobbing a strong one at disaster-struck Boeing: ’This present is stay – something may occur. It is like flying in a Boeing airplane. One minute there is a door there, the subsequent you are exterior.’
After the Terrible Emmys, Crock of Selection Awards and Ugly Globes, the Grammys swooped in to re-start the music. Sheltered from a storm-sodden LA within the Crypto.com Area, it was a welcome night time of cathartic crescendo bliss, scorching senoritas, unhealthy hair and bombshell secret poetry golf equipment. (Pictured: Taylor Swift and Celine Dion backstage).
I used to be braced for tiresome Trevor Noah (pictured with Beyonce) to suck the oxygen out the room together with his pneumatic self-focus, however – first shock reveal of the night time – he was truly an effortlessly hilarious host.
What WAS Doja Cat – in that nipple peekaboo, brow tattoo monstrosity – considering?
A star-stuffed music medley kicked off with scrumptious Dua Lipa, dressed like a dominatrix Peloton teacher, dancing (sure, she lastly can!) amid a bondagey jungle fitness center – a leather-clad appetizer for the even larger night time to come back.
Then it was Mariah C’s flip to shake her belongings, sauntering in to a standing O, out from the style faux-pas wilderness and awarding a shocked and usually lioness-coiffed Miley Cyrus her Finest Pop Solo Efficiency gong.
It was Miley’s first win (of two); first Swift snub (of two); and second outfit (of 4!).
Did she experience to the occasion on the hood of her automobile? Maybe Ed Sheeran rode shotgun; we had been advised he’d flown specifically from Taiwan to make it – presumably there was no time to bathe.
Speaking of again from the wilderness, marching out from cancellation quietude was Lizzo – clearly, this gal’s too massive to fail.
The primary emotional zenith of the night time – the musical equal of Elmo tweeting, ’How is everybody doing?’ – was a spine-tingling ’Quick Automotive’ duet.
At first all we noticed was a hand strumming these acquainted chords – however when the gang realized it was Tracy Chapman herself subsequent to Luke Combs, boy was it on.
If Tracy had been the one blast from icons previous it might have been greater than sufficient – however we had been jampacked with Billy Joel, Annie ’Ceasefire’ Lennox (extra on her later), Stevie Marvel with holographic Tony Bennett from past the grave, Joni Mitchell, Celine Dion!
Headscarfed and pseudo-humble Billie Eilish bagged Track of the 12 months with cunning brother Finneas for his or her stunning Barbie ditty ’What Was I Made For’.
Finneas and Ferb greater than deserved it, so why Billie felt the necessity to insist – now on her eighth Grammy – ’I am not imagined to be right here’ got here off a bit… plastic.
A star-stuffed music medley kicked off with scrumptious Dua Lipa, dressed like a dominatrix Peloton teacher, dancing (sure, she lastly can!) amid a bondagey jungle fitness center – a leather-clad appetizer for the even larger night time to come back.
Then it was Mariah C’s flip to shake her belongings, sauntering in to a standing O, out of the style faux-pas wilderness and awarding a shocked and usually lioness-coiffed Miley Cyrus her Finest Pop Solo Efficiency gong.
I a lot most popular Finest New Artist winner Victoria Monet’s speech, first thanking the actual champions of the night time: the champagne servers, who had apparently spent a lot of their time circling Taylor’s desk (Was it an on-stage Celine snub? Was it the tequila?).
Regardless of the bubbles, Taylor – whose night time was suitably historic – knew each lyric to each tune and loved a karaoke live performance for one, even singing alongside to Olivia Rodrigo’s ’Vampire’ which can or might not be about her – and who might or might not get pleasure from plundering Swift’s songbook.
Hey, what does Taylor care: she’s obtained her sights skilled on a Tremendous Bowl engagement, her new album and most likely the White Home.
Sickness-struck Celine’s shock look at hand Taylor her Album of The 12 months award was the lipstick cherry on probably the most sugary of muffins.
’Those that have been blessed sufficient to be right here on the Grammy Awards must not ever take it with no consideration,’ Celine stated. ’The super love and pleasure that music brings to individuals all around the world.’
I am not ugly crying – you’re! Really, we do not deserve her.
It was a disgrace that Lennox selected to hijack the In Memoriam phase along with her ’Artists for Ceasefire, peace on the planet’ pro-Palestine stunt.
Actually although, we should always count on nothing much less from this drained creeker.
Speaking of again from the wilderness, marching out from cancellation quietude was Lizzo – clearly, this gal’s too massive to fail.
Different shout-outs should go to:
Oprah, who put the ’O’ in Ozempic and gave a touching tribute to Tina Turner – even when she could not assist reminding viewers that she regarded the late hit-maker as a ’buddy’.
And Chrissy Teigen’s beauty dermatologist. Was Chrissy having fun with the night time or hating it? Not possible to know – however it was the proper poker face for when Jay-Z received the GOAT award (Gross, Obnoxious And Truculent), taking a jab on the nominees (’a few of you do not should be within the class’) and attacking the recording academy for failing to present the spouse he cheated on a thirty third Grammy.
We may all have performed with out Travis Scott’s useless chair smashing. And sure, at practically 4 hours the night time was half too lengthy.
However, for all of the horrible ups and tawdry downs we have needed to endure in politics and tradition of late – and regardless that my sofa did not include Champagne servers – the Grammys was a refreshing shot of steaming star-power. Waiter, I would like what Taylor’s having!