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onsdag, oktober 16, 2024

How Taylor Swift, Travis Kelce and the Kansas Metropolis Chiefs plan to stump Donald Trump


I imply, placing on the entire facade of creating T1 and T2 extra well-known than they already are, by having them fake to be in love, can’t have been straightforward. (T1 is probably the most well-known particular person on this planet, one of many wealthiest, and she or he is famously, fabulously, feisty and robust. T2 is near her soccer equal. Getting them to put their private lives on the service of this Biden Brigade psy-op? Wow, simply wow.)

As to steering the Chiefs to a Tremendous Bowl conflict with the San Francisco 49ers, that too was superb. All these bribes you probably did with the opposite groups, with out something leaking! All these performs the Chiefs needed to practise to make it look life like. Whichever one in all you had Patrick Mahomes spinning out of that sort out with 2.19 minutes left on the clock, to throw the lengthy bomb to Marquez Valdes-Scantling, to ice the AFC Championship sport in opposition to Baltimore. Impressed! All of it regarded so … so, actual.

Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce celebrate a touchdown during the AFC championship game.

Patrick Mahomes and Travis Kelce rejoice a landing throughout the AFC championship sport.Credit score: AP

Look, we already knew you have been able to some good work.

I don’t should let you know how happy the President was three years in the past, to have stolen tens of millions of votes within the election in opposition to Trump, whereas to at the present time it has not been confirmed in a court docket of regulation {that a} single vote has been stolen, regardless of some 60 makes an attempt! (And all of it masterminded by a President stated by the conservatives to be affected by extreme dementia. Simply think about what he might have performed if his thoughts was sound!)

However I digress.

As fantastic as it’s that The Plan is about to be flawlessly executed, the President does have one or two considerations. Whereas content material that the entire thing has escaped the eye of each fashionable Woodward and Bernstein internationally, he’s questioning in regards to the individuals who have found it. Amazingly, they’re precisely the identical individuals who imagine the moon touchdown was faked however professional wrestling is actual and that Invoice Gates organised COVID as a result of he wanted so as to add to his present wealth of just about $200 billion.

That’s to say, if all of the individuals who have found The Plan have been all instruments in your shed, they wouldn’t fairly be the sharp ones, sure?

Nonetheless, they appear to be onto it.

We’ve got performed what we are able to to pooh-pooh all of it as nonsense.

However folks like former Republican presidential candidate Vivek Ramaswamy will not be backing down.

“What your type of folks name ‘conspiracy theories’,” he advised the New York Instances, “I merely name an amalgam of collective incentives hiding in plain sight.”

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In sum? Disguise them slightly higher.

We will nonetheless have Mahomes, after spinning away from the greedy 49ers defence, do the successful landing to T2 with 12 seconds left on the clock – no, truly make it 9 seconds, for further drama – for a superb 21-20 closing scoreline. We will nonetheless have T1 storm the sector afterwards, just for T2 to sink to his knees, earlier than pulling a hoop from behind his ear and asking T1 to marry him, because the cameras roll.

Simply don’t have T1 say, “I’ll … if Biden wins the following election”.

Attempt to be slightly extra delicate.

(Ah, however severely people. It’s a rare yarn, all happening at THE very level the place the worlds of leisure, sports activities, politics, fascism and excessive nutterdom intersect. For the sheer enjoyable of it, I do hope the Chiefs stand up in a good one.)

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