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DEAR ABBY: Our son “Ted” met a younger girl, “Gina,” who I actually like. She informed him she had polycystic ovary syndrome and would have a tough time conceiving. Effectively, she acquired pregnant they usually ended up, spur of the second, going to the courthouse to get married.
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When Gina went into labour, we drove three hours to be with them and stayed in a lodge, solely to be informed she didn’t need firm. She’d had a horrible three-day labor that ended with a C-section. I form of perceive her not eager to see anyone, however we dropped every thing and weren’t in a position to even see our grandchild.
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My husband, “Peter,” has a variety of resentment towards Gina and Ted. My downside is, when Peter and I married, I used to be three months pregnant. He has it caught in his head that Gina “trapped” Ted into getting married. When Peter and I went by a tough patch, he made that remark about us a pair occasions.
When Ted and Gina come right here, which isn’t usually, my husband makes no effort to get to know Gina, solely to evaluate her. I attempt to textual content or FaceTime them each week or so to verify in. I work the night time shift, so I sleep throughout the day and am again up when they’re asleep. How can I assist my husband to see that they actually do love one another and to assist make Gina a part of the household? — TORN MOTHER-IN-LAW
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DEAR TORN: It seems your husband nonetheless has some unresolved points concerning the circumstances of your marriage that he has projected onto your daughter-in-law. Level out to him that this hasn’t escaped your discover, and counsel that if he needs something resembling a wholesome relationship along with his son, Gina, that child AND YOU, he should begin speaking with a licensed therapist. It might additionally require some periods with a counselor who focuses on household remedy, if Ted and Gina are keen. Cross your fingers. In case your husband gained’t comply with it, go with out him.
DEAR ABBY: I’m a retired automotive employee. My employer permits me to share my firm low cost with shut kin. Considered one of them has taken benefit of my low cost for the final 15 years, which has saved this individual actually hundreds of {dollars}. I don’t do it to get something in return, however I’ve by no means obtained even a lot as a thank-you card from this relative.
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This individual isn’t hurting financially by any means. They continually journey and entertain. The one contact we now have is when they’re prepared to purchase one other automobile. Then they textual content me to say they want the authorization quantity to offer to the seller.
I’d prefer to cease this relative from using my low cost, however I don’t know the best way to deal with this. We see this individual at vacation gatherings. — DONE WITH THE DISCOUNT
DEAR DONE: Greet this relative warmly on the subsequent vacation gathering. When you’re requested once more about that low cost, give them the unhappy information that they starved their golden goose to demise, which ought to get the message throughout. And whether it is requested once more, ignore it.
Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, often known as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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