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DEAR ABBY: My very pricey good friend has found that her live-in boyfriend of two years has been hiding $55,000 in bank card debt. This man contributes little or no to the family bills (she owns the house) and barely helps to take care of it. As an alternative, he spends his cash on alcohol and vaping merchandise.
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He refuses to share any particulars about his debt and doesn’t like being requested about it. She has requested him to drink much less and cease vaping completely, however nothing has modified. What recommendation ought to I share together with her? I don’t need to harm her emotions, however I need to give truthful and sincere recommendation. — FRIEND WHO CARES IN MAINE
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DEAR FRIEND: If you wish to give your good friend truthful and sincere recommendation, wait to be requested for it. Don’t provide it unsolicited as a result of will probably be ignored. If, nevertheless, she ought to ask, be at liberty to let her have it with each barrels. Her boyfriend is a substance abusing freeloader who’s unwilling to vary, and she or he deserves higher.
DEAR ABBY: My greatest good friend, “Juliet,” lately misplaced her months-old child beneath tragic circumstances. After a number of months, she is now pregnant once more. Abby, I’m nervous. She’s in her 30s and needs to dwell together with her mom for an indefinite interval after the newborn is born. Juliet continues to be together with her husband.
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I don’t assume that is wholesome. It is not going to solely take away from the couple’s independence, but additionally scale back Juliet’s confidence in being a brand new mom. We’re so shut that we name one another soul mates. Ought to I say one thing or let her do what she thinks is correct? — STANDING BY IN TENNESSEE
DEAR STANDING BY: As involved as you might be about Juliet, let her do what she thinks is correct. Having misplaced her child “beneath tragic circumstances,” she wants all of the emotional help she will be able to get. If her husband is ok with that association, resist the urge to intrude.
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DEAR ABBY: At Christmas, I labored all day cooking a beautiful turkey dinner with all of the aspect dishes and champagne. I advised my “mature grownup” boyfriend that dinner could be prepared at 5 p.m.
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At 5 p.m., I put the (scorching) meals on the desk and known as my BF to come back in. As an alternative of coming to the desk, “Mr. Mannerless” made an (pointless) cellphone name to a girl good friend and talked for practically an hour. Whereas the dinner bought chilly, I bought scorching! When he lastly bought off the cellphone, he grabbed a plate of meals and left to observe TV. He didn’t even eat with me! What ought to I’ve performed? — SIMMERING IN SOUTH DAKOTA
DEAR SIMMERING: It isn’t a matter of what you need to have performed final Christmas. The query is what you propose to do about somebody as thoughtless because the unappreciative turkey you’ve got been relationship. He could also be a mature grownup, however his disregard on your emotions is appalling.
— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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