DEAR ABBY: Brother dreads being requested to be finest man

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DEAR ABBY: My brother not too long ago known as to inform me he had proposed to his girlfriend, and she or he fortunately accepted. Whereas I’m glad he’s completely satisfied, I’m frightened about what to do if he asks me to be his finest man.

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Whereas his girlfriend could be a good individual, they’ve a one-sided relationship through which she controls numerous what my brother does. She all the time must be the centre of consideration at household capabilities and piles on the PDA towards my brother in public locations.

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I really feel dangerous for him as a result of he hasn’t been in lots of romantic relationships and, to me, it simply looks as if he’s settling. I could also be leaping the gun on this — possibly he gained’t ask — however I actually consider that the perfect man at their marriage ceremony ought to be somebody who actually helps this relationship — and that isn’t me. Any recommendation? — “WORST MAN” IN NEW YORK

DEAR “WORST MAN”: Bide your time. As a result of your brother’s fiancee is the one in management, SHE often is the one who decides who ought to be the perfect man. If she has a brother or a male cousin she feels near, chances are you’ll be off the hook. Nevertheless, in case you are requested, you’ll have to fess up and inform him about your considerations as diplomatically as potential.

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DEAR ABBY: I’m a 57-year-old single mother. All 4 of my kids stay at dwelling. My oldest daughter can also be a single mother, with two stunning kids. She’s in faculty so she will get a good-paying job.

I’ve one other daughter who’s in her 20s and has mental delays. She lies round the home studying her cellphone or utilizing her pc. She’s very messy and refuses to care for herself or assist with family chores.

A 3rd daughter can also be in faculty, however she lives in a dorm. When she’s dwelling, she’s additionally sort of sloppy, and my son is past messy. There’s trash and soiled dishes throughout his room. If I say something, he ignores me. What would you do? — MESSED UP IN PENNSYLVANIA

DEAR MESSED UP: You will have created this monster of an issue by failing to claim your authority as a dad or mum. What I’d do is one thing it is best to have executed at LEAST 15 years in the past: Inform the “kids” what is anticipated of them, and what the penalty shall be for ignoring you. Then, in the event that they don’t form up, present them the door. You will have given your kids all the things besides the inducement to care for themselves.

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DEAR ABBY: I like animals and presently have a flock of chickens, all hens. I take care of these ladies, and in return I get fantastic recent eggs. I stay in a right-to-farm group, and I’m contemplating getting a rooster to offer the women some pleasure. The issue is, roosters crow, I’ve neighbours and I’m unsure if they are going to be upset with the crowing early within the morning. Recommendation? — WAITING TO CROW IN MASSACHUSETTS

DEAR WAITING: In the event you suppose the hens will turn out to be excited once you undertake the rooster, think about the stir it would trigger amongst your neighbours. Ask them first, until you need the feathers to fly.

— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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