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DEAR ABBY: My boyfriend of two years, “Rick,” is hooked on social media — primarily the ladies on there. I’m not on any of his social media, and it looks as if he acts like he’s single there. If he’s not at work, he’s at dwelling, however at all times on his cellphone.
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Rick pays extra consideration to Fb than he does to me. There are greater than 2,000 ladies on his FB, and he follows hundreds on his TikTok. He likes and “hearts” their photos and even feedback. He sees nothing mistaken with it as a result of he’s dwelling with me and never bodily involved with them. This has been our solely drawback the entire time now we have been collectively. Once I specific my emotions about it, he tells me I’m overreacting and that it’s “simply social media.”
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I informed Rick I really feel like he’s dishonest in a method as a result of he’s devoting his consideration to different females that he may very well be giving me. It’s like he wants fixed consideration, even when it’s harmless. It makes me really feel like I’m not sufficient for him, that he’s not serious about me and he’s in search of the subsequent gal to maneuver on to.
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I really feel like I’ve to compete with these ladies on-line. His TikTok is especially ladies dancing half-naked. I may be actually proper subsequent to him in mattress, however he would slightly take a look at them. Aside from this habit, Rick is an incredible man. Please assist. — COMPETING IN OHIO
DEAR COMPETING: Rick could also be “superb,” however he’s additionally absent. He could also be subsequent to you bodily, but when his consideration is directed to the dancing ladies on display, you can freeze to demise and he wouldn’t discover. In a method, in actual fact, you ARE freezing as a result of your love life has been placed on ice. Except Rick is keen to search out issues he can do with you slightly than feed his habit, you actually ought to discover a companion who is offered.
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DEAR ABBY: My husband has at all times been a rule-breaker. In the course of the COVID lockdown, he refused to vary his routines. He continued to do pointless errands each day and eat lunch out (even when it meant in his automobile). My pleas for him to cease fell on deaf ears. I protected myself by holding my distance.
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Though neither of us obtained the virus, I’m having bother excusing his egocentric behaviour. He has supplied no apologies and appears to assume he did nothing mistaken as a result of neither of us obtained sick. I keep that isn’t the purpose. He put each of us AT RISK. How can I get previous this? — DODGED IT IN THE MIDWEST
DEAR DODGED IT: You and your husband have been fortunate. A option to get previous this might be to ask your husband in a non-confrontational method WHY he did what he did, and whether or not he took into consideration that it might need put you at risk. Then let him clarify.
If his response just isn’t passable sufficient so that you can “get previous this,” acknowledge that that is what you signed on for while you married a “dangerous boy” (aka a rule-breaker) and ensure to take ALL the mandatory precautions to guard your self sooner or later.
— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also referred to as Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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