In my childhood, I used to stare at it for hours with bewildered eyes and shocked seems. For me, in these days, its presence was baffling and complicated. I’d stare upon it for a very long time amidst the void of the universe, my curious and looking out eyes steadfastly making an attempt to discover its mystifying existence.
Then sooner or later, once I was strolling on the road of my mohalla – which matches straight from the west to the east, and finally ends up close to a pathway near the park utilized by the locals for strolling and pleasure within the night – my craving reached its peak. I knew that strolling straight up the pathway, and on the opposite aspect of the park, I’d be so shut that with somewhat dash I might meet up with it.
On the jap aspect of this straight path, a triangular form was shaped in such a method that in between the park and the pathway, or reverse to it, one other street – so far as the attention might see – ran from the north to the south. The park had stunning iron railings on all sides, which, after each 5 or seven ft, have been fixed to two-square-feet broad pillars constructed upon two-and-a-half or three-feet-tall and quarter-feet-broad partitions.
The partitions have been sturdy, cemented, and the sunshine inexperienced paint on the railings might nonetheless be seen. So far as the attention might see, the park was coated with inexperienced turf, the preparations of lights inside undertaken with care. It was most likely performed for the sake of making an area for the general public to stroll. Amid the park was an island-like construction meant for relaxation and respite. The steps and the sitting areas have been solid in cement, the insides of which have been moulded in iron. The park was significantly giant and spacious. It was three-quarter furlongs lengthy (from the south to the north) and half a furlong broad (from the west to the east). There was a foremost gate flanked by two smaller ones on each side and joined along with iron railings.
The place the width of the park ended, the straight path once more went on its method, and on the jap finish (that’s, on the far finish) it merged into the pavement which was the place to begin of one other mohalla. A slim lane from the sting of the pavement led to a desolate masjid, its minaret seen from a far distance. My goal was to stroll on this avenue and attain there, for in accordance with my estimate, it was attainable for me to reach at it from this level.
The broader finish of the park was the truth is its final level. The road acted as its subway and merged with the park to kind one other place to begin. Two streets ran parallel to one another from the south, intersecting one another until they reached the northern aspect. (It was on these that vehicles whizzed previous). In between there was additionally a pavement that divided them into two, although intermittently leaving gaps of 10 to fifteen ft that acted like subways to let the quick vehicles go by way of and meet up with different lanes. This straight avenue ran by way of one of many gaps.
I have no idea why I had come this fashion (presumably to fetch rations for each day use) for at one finish was a ration store. The store catered to the wants of the general public, supplying the close by areas with weekly rations. If the federal government, with the introduction of the system of ration playing cards, had eased some lives by supplying gadgets of each day use, it created unrest for the disadvantaged and lesser-income teams which didn’t perceive the sophisticated ration-card system. This method proved to be a boon for males with a nostril for enterprise. They knew find out how to earn cash by promoting ration gadgets within the black market. Thus, the pretend ration playing cards far outweighed the unique card holders (most of them made by the ration store house owners themselves for his or her private advantages).
From the road and the park, on the opposite finish of the pavement, I might see it from shut quarters. It appeared caught to the masjid’s minaret. In my coronary heart of hearts, I used to be exhilarated. I used to be able to reaching it one way or the other. It was attainable to come up with it. (It couldn’t transfer away from there, or that’s what I assumed.) However within the meantime, I forgot what gadgets I had come to buy. The ideas of residence eluded me, even the worry of my father. (In my childhood, I used to be petrified of my father who would beat me to his coronary heart’s content material for the smallest of my faults). In these days, I’d neglect my research, being extra all in favour of sports activities and video games. It was attainable that this pursuit may very well be psychologically associated to my curiosity in playing around.
For therefore lengthy this object had struck me with awe and shock. In my coronary heart, I had all the time needed to be near it. Each time I had the possibility to climb the rooftop of any home, my eyes would gawk at it. I bear in mind as soon as visiting the home of my good friend, Sagar, for the aim of flying kites on the terrace of his four-storeyed constructing. Extending half my physique from the cornice of the terrace, and like a swan protruding my neck, I gazed intently at it for a very long time. However as earlier than, it remained out of my attain.
I even tried to have a look at it from the roof of our home, perched perilously on the best level of the water tank, with excessive warning (to keep away from tumbling down) in order that it might come inside my grasp. However I obtained scared and the gap between us turned even better.
Right now, strolling on this path, an inexpressible feeling was overpowering me. My unfulfilled want was going to be realised. With these ideas, I entered the park by way of one of many smaller entrances. With assured steps, I reached the jap finish of the park and its jap gate. Crossing the park, I arrived on the pathway that led to the pavement. It appeared the pathway had helplessly moved to the north-south path because it had no different possibility.
To chop the story quick, I reached the final pavement with out dropping sight of it. Then with a panting coronary heart and smooth steps, I entered the lane. I used to be scared that it might give me the slip as on earlier events and take refuge elsewhere. I remorse to say, that arriving there, I understood I had made NIYO a incorrect evaluation. That one could make a incorrect evaluation of something from afar had by no means occurred to me earlier than. As it’s, childhood days are bereft of such concepts. Nonetheless, simply to fulfill myself, I assumed it prudent to inch ahead and went even past the masjid. My curious eyes have been continuously in its pursuit. At one level it appeared shut, nearly merging into the bottom. However once I stared on the tall constructing on my proper aspect, my coronary heart gave in. It was far and even past the tall constructing. (The existence of the constructing made me acutely aware of it; in any other case, it appeared as if it was nonetheless caught to the terrace.)
Then with a damaged coronary heart I smothered my want to stare, contact or grasp it. This craving of mine was one other identify of one thing that is still unfulfilled eternally.
Excerpted with permission from “Arrival” by Mahmoud Yasien from Modern Urdu Quick Tales from Kolkata, translated by Afif Shams Siddiqi, edited by Afif Shams Siddiqi and Fuzail Asar Siddiqi, Thornbird/Niyogi Books.