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‘I wish to be the very best’: Hattan Alsaif, the Saudi lady making MMA historical past | Psychological Well being Information


In late January, Hattan Alsaif turned the primary feminine fighter from Saudi Arabia to enroll with a serious international combined martial arts (MMA) promotion, the Skilled Fighters League (PFL).

Alsaif, 22, gained gold on the 2023 Worldwide Federation of Muaythai Associations World Championships, the place she was awarded Breakthrough Feminine Athlete. Final 12 months she additionally took first place on the World Fight Video games and the Saudi Video games.

Nevertheless, her journey outdoors the ring has additionally grabbed headlines.

Alsaif’s dad and mom divorced proper after she was born and she or he grew up at her grandmother’s home. When she was aged simply 10, each of Alsaif’s dad and mom died within the area of 10 months. She spent years dwelling with despair and tried suicide on a number of events.

In a dialog with Al Jazeera – has been edited for readability and size – Alsaif shares her struggles, her damage and ache whereas rising up, the lack of her dad and mom, and the way she discovered her calling in MMA.

Al Jazeera: You’re the primary Saudi feminine fighter to signal with a serious MMA promotion. Inform us simply how large that is.

Hattan Alsaif: This is among the biggest issues to have occurred in my life. It’s additionally a really large accountability and I’ve to take it critically and thoroughly. I’ll be representing my nation, my household, my group and likewise each different Saudi feminine. It’s large and I’m positive I’m the suitable individual to do it.

Al Jazeera: What makes you say you’re the suitable individual?

Alsaif: It’s due to the abilities. I at all times inform myself I used to be born to struggle, it’s my path, my profession, my future, my pastime, my life, my every part. I’m at all times attempting my greatest and killing myself to do the very best.

Al Jazeera: You’ve stated you have been born to do that. How a lot does it imply to you?

Alsaif: It actually means every part to me. Not like different fighters, I discovered martial arts fairly late. Whereas others have been preventing for 5 to seven years, it has not even been three years for me. I’m so pleased with all that I’ve achieved in that point.

Because the first day of my coaching, I felt at house within the health club. I felt so linked with the coaching, the gloves, the coach. I knew this was my calling and the suitable place for me.

Al Jazeera: You’ve had losses within the ring however greater losses outdoors of it. How have these formed the individual you’re at this time?

Alsaif: After I misplaced my dad and mom, I informed myself I’ve nothing extra to lose. Dad and mom information you to heaven, assist you to in your life to turn out to be individual and shedding them is like shedding your whole life. There’s no one to information you or pray for you. So I made a decision to take my possibilities in life. I used to be attempting to be chargeable for myself.

My dad and mom divorced after I used to be born. They then had their very own households. I used to be by myself. Once I obtained sick, I needed to deal with myself. Once I was going to high school, I used to be doing my very own hair. It’s issues like that. I feel it’s that life that [helped me] to take this accountability for myself.

Al Jazeera: You endured a lot at such an early age: Lack of dad and mom and despair amongst different issues. How have sport and martial arts helped you?

Alsaif: After shedding my dad and mom, I used to be taking revenge on life. I used to be at all times offended, selecting fights with everybody and taking my anger out in all places due to what occurred.

I attempted a variety of different avenues: writing, drawing, skating, working, dancing, cooking and different issues. However I by no means discovered myself. I simply didn’t really feel I used to be in the suitable place or may present how good I’m.

However since I stepped into the world of martial arts, I realised that’s the place I can put my despair, anger, revenge, every part. And find yourself respiration usually.

Al Jazeera: You spoke lots about damage and ache. How a lot damage and ache do it’s good to turn out to be a fighter and did you take into account giving up at any level?

Alsaif: We don’t have a variety of women taking over martial arts simply but in Saudi Arabia, so I’ve been coaching with guys within the health club. They not solely have extra expertise than me however are additionally extra highly effective.

My coach would at all times inform them to not go simple on me and to punch me and damage me. In the event that they punch me arduous, I’ll strive my greatest to punch them more durable. I’ve been crying twice every week from the ache. It’s immense.

There’s psychological in addition to bodily harm. I cry however then I wipe my tears with the gloves and I full my coaching. There is no such thing as a stopping. I’ll cry and I’ll hold coaching. I’ll get damage, my eyes will go blue, my physique could have a variety of scars however I’ll hold going. This makes me really feel who I’m.

Al Jazeera: What then would you say to individuals who’ve been by lots and are near giving up?

Alsaif: I’ve been by despair for practically three years. I used to be drowning in it. On my physique, there are a variety of scars from self-hurt. I attempted suicide. Simply something that will take me away from despair. It was controlling me method an excessive amount of. I used to be giving up. I needed to cease and for it to finish. I assumed there was no level being alive when you don’t have any dad and mom and nothing goes your method.

That second, after I was so scared, I took a leap of religion and jumped to the opposite aspect. The second you are feeling such as you’re at your lowest, once you’re giving up, that is the second you must bounce. That’s after I took up martial arts regardless of the worry.

The considered going to the health club for coaching helped. I knew it could assist me sleep properly. I am going to coaching, I put every part else in my thoughts and life apart. I knew that if I didn’t try this and bounce, I’d be caught in the dead of night with my despair and demons till I died.

Al Jazeera: So what then is the dream now? The place do you see your self going from right here?

Alsaif: I wish to be the very best. Anybody can say that however, for me, it’s a deep, deep phrase. I’m obsessive. I like perfection. I wish to attain the highest in every part. I don’t wish to have 15 % of something. I would like 100%.

I do know the journey gained’t be simple from right here and I’ll cry and get damage alongside the best way however that’s the trail I wish to take.

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