In 2016, when Roshni Singh was in Class 9, Reliance Jio launched a proposal whereby it supplied prospects with free SIM playing cards, together with 1 gigabyte of free web per day. Singh’s dad and mom procured a SIM card for the household, which she would use. The straightforward entry to the web opened up a complete new world for {the teenager} from Jamshedpur, Jharkhand.
She recounted, as an example, that she started watching a present hosted by Ellen DeGeneres, an American actress and comic, on her cell phone. On one episode, the actress Portia de Rossi appeared on the present, and earlier than beginning the interview, shared a kiss with DeGeneres.
“I used to be like woah! Is that this one thing that’s regular? I didn’t know that they have been married then,” recalled Singh, who identifies as a pansexual girl.
Rising up in a standard household, Singh would surprise why solely women and men married one another – however she sensed this was not a query she may ask brazenly. Watching DeGeneres and de Rossi kiss inspired her to discover her queer id. She started to Google questions on same-sex attraction and browse blogs on the topic. She would additionally lookup quizzes with titles resembling “Am I homosexual? Am I lesbian?”
Looking back, although, she realised that there was little level to such quizzes. “As a result of, when you’re searching for such a quiz then most certainly you do belong to the queer group,” she mentioned.
Singh, who’s now 22, has not but come out to her dad and mom. However because of encountering and studying about queerness on the web, she grew to develop into an lively member of Jamshedpur’s queer group. “If it wasn’t for the web, I might by no means have develop into so snug with my sexual id,” mentioned Singh. “There are blogs and social media accounts which clarify queerness so fantastically. Rising up, I didn’t have entry to this info offline.”
Like Singh, many different younger Indians who grew up after entry to the web started to unfold within the mid-2000s have explored and understood their queer id primarily by on-line explorations. The web has additionally helped them discover group in different queer mates and date queer folks suitable with their sexual orientation.
In his e-book Digital Queer Cultures in India, cultural industries professor Rohit Dasgupta wrote, “Queer tradition in India is an intersection of on-line and offline practices.” The web, he added, supplied queer youth with the instruments to “create and redefine their queer identities, from relationship and sexual bonding to politics and activism.” He famous that the “queer web” included a wide range of websites resembling “homosexual blogs, listservs, created particularly for queer folks, social networking websites resembling PlanetRomeo and extra generic social networking areas resembling Fb and Instagram.”
On the similar time, queer youth on the web additionally typically face intense hate and abuse, with little assist from their household or social circles.
In a single excessive such occasion, from November 2023, Pranshu Yadav, a 16-year-old make-up artist from Ujjain, Madhya Pradesh, was trolled viciously after an Instagram reel during which he wore a saree went viral. Inside days, Yadav’s reel attracted over 50,000 feedback, lots of them expressing hate in direction of the queer group – per week later, Yadav died by suicide. Newslaundry reported that even after Yadav’s loss of life, folks continued to put in writing hateful feedback on his posts.
This story is a part of Widespread Floor, our in-depth and investigative reporting mission. Join right here to get a recent story in your inbox each Wednesday.
While Yadav was focused for expressing himself as a queer particular person, for many queer youth, even merely discovering info and like-minded folks on-line is a removed from easy course of.
As a toddler, Roshni Singh’s pal, Krishal Prasad, who can be from Jamshedpur, was typically teased about having extra ladies than boys as mates. He was additionally mocked as a result of he was excited about dance, relatively than sports activities.
Prasad didn’t really feel secure speaking to his lecturers or dad and mom about his queer id.
“The web was the one supply that I needed to flip to,” he mentioned. In Class 6, he started wanting up info on being queer on Google and encountered the phrases “bicurious” and “bisexual” – on studying extra about them, he felt that they described him precisely.
Although Prasad primarily learn blogs that have been supportive of queer folks, he recounted that he did encounter hostility on some platforms. On Quora, as an example, the place customers ask questions on numerous topics and obtain solutions from others locally, he got here throughout customers who claimed that being homosexual was an sickness that might be cured. However Prasad would merely ignore such detrimental feedback.
Prasad recounted that initially, all the fabric he discovered that handled the queer expertise was created by folks from the West. This left {the teenager} with the odd impression that he was maybe the one queer particular person in India, and that the remainder of the group was overseas. It was solely in Class 9, after he created a Fb account, and joined a bunch named LGBTQ India, which comprised queer folks from throughout the nation, that he realised that India had a number of vibrant queer communities.
Step by step, by Fb and later different social media platforms like Instagram and Snapchat, Prasad got here into contact with different queer folks in Jamshedpur. Whereas Prasad met Singh by mutual offline mates, it was on-line that their friendship blossomed. In 2020, along with one other queer pal, they launched an Instagram web page referred to as Jamshedpur Satisfaction to unfold info and join with the native queer group. They now work beneath a collective referred to as the Jamshedpur Queer Circle, which organises group meet-ups and workshops.
Prasad believes that if it weren’t for the data and connections he accessed by the web, he would have stayed closeted his complete life. “A few of the most homophobic folks I do know are those who have been compelled to get married and stay closeted,” he mentioned. “If I didn’t have the web I might need develop into somebody like that.”
Smita V, whose household is from Tamil Nadu and who grew up in Ras Al Khaimah, a small metropolis within the United Arab Emirates, recounted that that they had to make use of a VPN to bypass the strict censorship legal guidelines within the nation. These legal guidelines mandated the blocking of websites the place sure phrases appeared that have been deemed offensive, resembling “homosexual”.
Starting once they have been in Class 6, Smita started wanting up info on queer identities and communities on-line – it helped that they have been a pc fanatic even then.
“A whole lot of the data I obtained was by chatting with folks on on-line boards and chatrooms,” they mentioned. Whereas studying about same-sex attraction initially felt “scary” to the teenaged Smita, the ladies they spoke to on-line have been “very type” in speaking about their experiences, making queerness appear “secure” and “acceptable”.
Offline, nevertheless, Smita didn’t really feel secure sharing their queer id with anybody round them, till they went to undergraduate school in Chennai. There, too, at first they discovered the atmosphere repressive and homophobic – only some lecturers and classmates have been accepting of them. “Individuals have been brazenly homophobic,” mentioned Smita. They recounted that in sexuality schooling class, when college students requested questions on same-sex attraction, they have been informed that homosexuality was “soiled”, “immoral” and “in opposition to god”. By their circles, Smita heard of two seniors who left school after their queerness was revealed to members of the administration, who harassed them about it.
However a while later, Smita noticed a message from a senior on Gaysi Household, a web based platform for queer south Asians. The senior had written that they have been seeking to join with different queer folks from the faculty. Smita and the senior determined to satisfy and attend the Chennai Satisfaction occasion that yr. Smita was 19 years previous on the time, and this was the primary time they met a queer particular person offline.
“I name her my older lesbian mentor,” Smita mentioned. “The primary time we met, I used to be barely out. She gave me a replica of the e-book, As a result of I Have a Voice, the primary e-book I’d seen on being queer in India.”
Quickly, Smita developed a group of queer mates on-line who would meet as typically as attainable and assist one another by issues. As soon as, as an example, when Smita was going by a troublesome time, a web based pal from Mumbai despatched them a care package deal.
When Smita returned to go to their dad and mom in UAE, they went on their first date with a lady. It was the identical on-line pal from Mumbai who suggested Smita concerning the date. “She wished to see what I used to be carrying, so I needed to click on pictures on a digital camera and ship them to her on e mail,” they recalled. The 2 maintained a detailed bond over the web, although it was solely 5 years later that they met in particular person.
The assist from their on-line group allowed Smita to be open in a manner that they weren’t offline. “I had no chill,” they mentioned. “Apart from saying it out loud, I did every thing else to point that I used to be queer.”
However this openness led to some conflicts offline. As soon as, when Smita had shared a publish on homosexual rights on their Fb account, friends from school started difficult them about it – one even approached Smita in particular person. Smita recounted that the majority of those interactions have been courteous, if unwelcome.
As soon as, nevertheless, a couple of folks approached Smita’s roommate and commenced aggressively asking her questions, resembling how she may keep in the identical room or change her garments in entrance of Smita.
Whereas Smita had not come out to their roommate, she was an ally to the queer trigger and so selected to disregard such homophobic taunts and questions. Smita added that their hostel guidelines required them to put on kurtas and preserve lengthy hair – this allowed Smita to cross as straight, minimising such uncomfortable conditions.
Smita defined that the web not solely helped them perceive their sexuality, however their gender id as properly. The method started in 2017 once they first questioned their very own gender id as a lady – as a primary step, they shaved off their hair in rejection of typical femininity. “At the moment you wouldn’t discover a lot info in queer areas outdoors of the female and male binary inside homosexuality,” they mentioned.
Queer folks they spoke to offline sought to field them into binary identities – Smita recounted that older queer activists insisted they have been a trans man, and that Smita ought to simply settle for it. However, they mentioned, “I knew I wasn’t a person, so I turned on-line, and I discovered a number of data on Tumblr.”
At first, they solely discovered narratives of non-binary individuals from Western international locations who have been “largely white folks or south-east Asian international locations the place there’s a tradition of unisex appearances and clothes”. There was subsequent to nothing about Indian non-binary folks. Nevertheless, from 2019 onwards Smita started seeing extra dialog across the subject. At the moment, Smita too identifies as a non-binary particular person.
“Non-binary folks have all the time existed in India, however publish 2019, there’s been a number of dialog about this,” they mentioned. “I see an increasing number of folks sharing details about this on-line, particularly in Indian languages and I believe that’s unbelievable,” they mentioned.
For some queer folks, who additionally belong to different marginalised communities, the real-world penalties of expressing their identities on-line have been much more harrowing.
Rabi Raj, a 30-year-old, non-binary, Dalit particular person, who grew up and lives in Belpara village in Odisha’s Belangir district, recounted that Fb helped them construct a group.
“After I used to speak to different folks in Odisha, I’d discover out they lived over lots of of kilometres away,” they mentioned. “So it was Fb that performed an enormous position in connecting us, an area the place we may share our anxieties, suffocation and loneliness.”
Rabi first got here out on the web, the place they up to date their Fb standing to declare that they have been drawn to males. At the moment, their profile was saved personal and so solely a small variety of folks learnt of this. Quickly, nevertheless, phrase unfold and some folks within the village approached Rabi to ask about their standing. As extra folks learnt that Rabi was drawn to males, Rabi started to face rising harassment. “If I sat down someplace to talk with somebody, folks would assume I’m speaking about intercourse,” they recalled. “After I partied with males mates, I might obtain a number of verbal abuse, folks would say – these males can’t discover ladies so that they’re making do with one another.”
However Rabi is glad they got here out. “I used to really feel so lonely earlier than,” they mentioned. “I got here out for different queer folks in order that they might see me and achieve confidence that there are others like them too.” At the moment, they know 5 different queer youth from their village – whereas some are out within the offline world, others solely join with them on-line for worry of persecution.
Whereas Rabi has develop into a preferred face in Odisha’s queer circles, additionally they really feel marginalised inside these areas on account of their Dalit id. “Whenever you’re Dalit or Adivasi, you don’t get area in UC-run areas,” they mentioned, referring to areas dominated by higher castes.
Rabi recounted, as an example that, one time, some years in the past, on a Whatsapp group for queer individuals in Odisha, they shared a photograph of two boys kissing at a pleasure march, holding a banner that learn: Smash Brahmanical Patriarchy.
“There was an uproar,” they mentioned. “Individuals obtained very offended with me and mentioned I used to be anti-Hindu and anti-Brahmin. They informed me to take away the photograph, however I didn’t.”
One other time, Rabi posted a photograph of Dr BR Ambedkar on Ambedkar Jayanti on the identical Whatsapp group. Once more, they have been requested to take away it. Rabi deleted the photograph, however got here to a realisation after this incident. “Babasaheb gave us all a lot,” they mentioned. “I realised if I can’t share his photograph on a queer group then that area isn’t meant for Dalit-Adivasi folks in any respect. We must make our personal collectives.”
At the moment, Rabi is a part of a web based collective referred to as Dalit Queer India, which seeks to offer illustration and networking alternatives to queer Dalit individuals in rural India. Amit, the collective’s founder, who’s from a small village close to Allahabad mentioned, “There was a time the place my psychological well being was dangerous and I used to be searching for assist on-line. However everybody I approached, be it higher caste or different Dalit folks, informed me that they don’t work in my space. I then realised that we must organise ourselves.”
The collective’s Instagram account was began in June 2023 and has over 900 followers, together with queer Dalit youth in Bihar, Odisha, Uttar Pradesh and Maharashtra.
Some younger queer folks from marginalised communities draw energy from the founding rules of Indian democracy itself.
Twenty-year-old Soljar Aahil, a bisexual Adivasi man from Bhopal, works at a collective named Sangwari, the place he conducts workshops about gender and the Indian structure and likewise performs in road performs. He recounted that he was launched into this line of labor a couple of years in the past, after a gathering with an activist from the NGO Jan Sahas, which works on the grassroots in numerous fields, together with schooling, land rights and livelihood. The activist launched Aahil to the Indian structure, and defined the way it may function a software of empowerment. From that day on, Aahil started to see the doc as a vital a part of his life.
His perception within the structure even helped him overcome the ache of previous experiences. Whereas rising up, he mentioned, he had obtained a number of verbal abuse from society owing to his female manner – he was referred to as phrases resembling meetha, chakka, and hijra.
“However since I learnt concerning the structure and its values, I don’t take note of these items as a result of I’ve accepted who I’m,” mentioned Aahil.
In 2020, Aahil purchased a cell phone in order that he may gown up and publish pictures of himself on-line. “For years, I had seen my mates from the LGBTQ group gown up, go outdoors and publish lovely pictures of themselves on-line,” he mentioned.
For Christy Nag, too, the web has been a secure area to discover and assert their queer id. Nag, an Adivasi trans girl from Asansol, West Bengal, recounted that as she was rising up in a small metropolis and not using a seen queer tradition, it was in “community-run areas on-line” the place queer concepts and narratives have been accessible in “non-discriminatory and significant methods”.
Even now, after she has come out, the web stays a secure area to which she will flip. She recalled how not too long ago, when she was understanding of a rural space, she felt like carrying a saree – however she knew it might not be secure for her to take action publicly the place she was. So, as a substitute, she shared a photograph of herself in a saree on her Instagram account. “As a queer particular person, expressing myself on-line helps me survive,” she mentioned. “At instances it’s the solely outlet for self-expression.”
Though many queer youth throughout the nation have discovered assist on the web, even immediately, they need to navigate many dangers that include being on-line.
A 2023 report that analysed dangers that LGBTQ Individuals confronted on-line famous that a big share of the queer group perceived that such risks existed. The report, by the American not-profit GLAAD, which works on queer media advocacy, discovered that 84% of LGBTQ adults felt that there have been insufficient protections on-line to forestall “discrimination, harassment and disinformation” in opposition to the queer group.
The accounts of Indian queer folks point out that they, too, face comparable issues.
After they have been of their twenties, Smita spent a good period of time on relationship apps, resembling OkCupid and Mingle. Whereas they have been there to satisfy queer girls, as a rule they might find yourself encountering males impersonating girls. “Six out of 10 girls on Mingle would really become males,” they mentioned.
Some, after a couple of days of chatting would admit they have been males, after which Smita would block them. “Others would get obsessive,” they mentioned, recalling how one time a person used slurs on them and threatened to search out them in Chennai. “Fortunately at the moment I used to be utilizing an alternate e mail account so that they couldn’t do something after I blocked them,” mentioned Smita.
Whereas on reflection, Smita recognised that this was “predatory behaviour”, on the time, they recalled, it was quite common on Mingle. In reality, they might typically focus on methods on-line with girls to guard themselves from such behaviour – as an example, if Smita arrange a video name with somebody, they might guarantee to attend for the opposite particular person to activate the digital camera first, earlier than turning on their very own.
Prasad and some others famous that in some cases, closeted queer males would goal youthful queer youth with threatening behaviour. He himself confronted such behaviour a couple of years in the past, when he obtained messages from his older, married neighbour asking to satisfy him. “He texted me saying, I’ve seen you, I do know the place you reside, the place your mother and pa work. You’re very cute and I need to meet,” he mentioned.
Prasad was terrified by the message because the man knew a lot about him and his household. “I questioned what would occur if I mentioned no, or if I went and met him,” he mentioned. Prasad determined to not acquiesce to his neighbour’s calls for and as a substitute informed him that he knew his spouse and would take the matter up along with her if the person texted him once more. To his aid, the person didn’t reply.
When Prasad first arrange his social media accounts, he set the standing of all of them personal. However later, he determined to make his profiles public in order that he may use them for his activism. He quickly discovered that strangers from the web would sometimes go away detrimental feedback beneath his pictures. “If I expressed a non secular or political opinion on a publish someplace, folks would come to my private account and remark there to set off me,” he mentioned. He recounted that they would go away feedback resembling – “Be a person, are you a lady, that is Western propaganda, you might be mentally sick.”
Initially, Prasad would reply to the feedback, providing information to dispel misinformed slurs. “However later, I realised if these folks wished to be taught, they might have learnt manner earlier than,” he mentioned. “So I made a decision to not waste my power on them, and stopped reacting to such issues.”
Each queer youth I interviewed spoke of dealing with or figuring out somebody who had confronted on-line abuse from strangers because of their queer id. In addition they spoke of the shortage of assist they obtained from on-line platforms. Sure We Exist India, an Instagram account for the queer group famous in a publish, “As Indian queer individuals, most of us have skilled Instagram’s failure to take away homophobic content material, regardless of reporting it to Instagram.”
Smita, who works as a mission coordinator on the Affiliation for Progressive Communications, mentioned that “authorized change must occur on a structural stage” to make sure that social media evolves right into a safer area for queer youth. They famous that customers weren’t held accountable, even in cases during which, they argued, commenters ought to have been charged beneath abetment of suicide. “Why did so many hate feedback go on Pranshu’s account?” they mentioned. “It’s as a result of a bunch of individuals commented and the algorithm determined there’s a number of feedback on this, so let’s push it to extra folks.”
They argued that in some methods, social media platforms have been designed to reward hateful behaviour, and that minority teams suffered disproportionately consequently. “Photographs of breasts are instantly deleted, however why aren’t violent and hateful feedback like those Pranshu confronted?” they mentioned. “These platforms are usually not designed for security, they’re designed to be monetised. We have to push for a change, not simply in coverage but in addition design.”
One among Sure We Exist India’s pinned posts on Instagram is a information for queer digital creators to make sure security on-line. It asks creators to replicate on whether or not of their on-line exercise, they need to give attention to constructing their social media attain and follower rely, or nurture secure areas for his or her communities and guarantee their very own peace of thoughts.
Smita mentioned that it was essential for queer folks to be taught to prioritise their wellbeing over their politics. “There must be a dialog on the way it’s okay to show off feedback,” they mentioned. “It doesn’t make you much less of an activist to exit the dialog. Generally it is advisable keep alive, to have the ability to battle tomorrow.”
This reporting is made attainable with assist from Report for the World, an initiative of The GroundTruth Undertaking.