DEAR ABBY: Bachelorette celebration planning forshadows costly journey

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DEAR ABBY: My finest buddy is getting married subsequent yr and is planning for her bachelorette celebration. Proper now, they’re taking a look at locations which have a three- or four-night minimal and would price every particular person greater than $500. (That’s simply to hire the place.) It wouldn’t cowl meals, items, and many others.

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My buddy isn’t a flowery, extravagant particular person, so I used to be shocked by the size of time I’ll must take off from work and the amount of cash I should spend. I fear if I attempt to (properly) say one thing, it would come throughout as not caring about her, her wedding ceremony or doing this for her. It’s not that I can’t afford it, and I believe I ought to have a while off accessible, nevertheless it’s going to price greater than I’m snug with. Am I being unreasonable? I wouldn’t wish to not make her really feel particular. — SOUR ON IT IN INDIANA

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DEAR SOUR: You aren’t being unreasonable. You’re sensible, and your reasoning is sound. In case your buddy’s bachelorette celebration will probably be extra of a monetary stretch than you possibly can COMFORTABLY afford, it’s essential to degree along with her, as a result of the marriage will price you much more. What isn’t affordable is for her to count on everybody to drop the whole lot and blow their budgets to ensure that her to “really feel particular.”

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DEAR ABBY: I had a finest buddy I acquired along with weekly. She determined she wanted to maneuver away to a quieter place. After all, I used to be upset, however I supported her determination as a result of it was proper for her. She promised me nothing would change, however we lived too far aside for our weekly visits to proceed, so I hoped we’d discuss weekly by telephone.

She cancelled our final get-together, saying she was burdened and busy making ready for the transfer. I informed her I understood, and I’d give her house and time to settle in and would watch for her name when she was prepared. The decision by no means got here.

Now we have seen one another a couple of instances within the years since she moved, at all times at her suggestion. I gently reminded her of the telephone calls we used to make and talked about getting collectively a couple of instances, however I obtained no response. Should I simply let her go? I wish to inform her how a lot I miss her friendship, however I’m afraid it would make her really feel responsible or obligated. — GRIEVING IN CANADA

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DEAR GRIEVING: Sure, it’s best to let her go. Your buddy now not feels the tie to you that she did when the 2 of you lived shut by. If you wish to inform her how a lot you miss her friendship, you’re entitled to do this. However please acknowledge that not all friendships final perpetually; some have an expiration date, and the one you had along with her seems to be one in every of them.

DEAR VETERANS: In your service to our nation, I salute you. My thanks to every of you on this Veterans Day. You’re the personification of patriotism, self-sacrifice and dedication to our nation. I’d additionally like to acknowledge your households for the sacrifices they, too, have made whilst you have been serving your nation. — LOVE, ABBY

— Expensive Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Expensive Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.

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