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DEAR ABBY: I’ve been relationship my boyfriend, “George,” for 17 years following our divorces. I’ve three grown youngsters. He has 4 — two of whom are nonetheless at residence. We have now by no means lived collectively.
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My daughter and George’s son (nonetheless at residence) had a crush on one another once they have been youngsters. Quick-forward 10 years — they’ve reunited and expressed their love for each other. Though George cares deeply for all my youngsters, I’m afraid he feels my daughter will not be the only option for his son. She is unemployed and has well being points, and his household’s opinions (they’re VERY outspoken and worth a powerful work ethic) weigh closely on his son.
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George “dad and mom” his grownup youngsters who’re nonetheless dwelling with him. (George stayed residence till he acquired married at 30.) His parenting model consists of hollering at his children once they’re not tending to their chores or his directives or they’re staying out all evening. This might presumably come between us. I ought to add, he’s all the time been good to me in each approach. What do you consider all this? — LESS CERTAIN IN THE EAST
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DEAR LESS CERTAIN: What I feel shouldn’t have any bearing on any of this. The “youngsters” are all adults. You may’t orchestrate their lives for them. You and George have to settle down and let this state of affairs play out. Que sera, sera.
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DEAR ABBY: My daughter, a wise, beautiful, skilled younger girl, was lately identified with Kind 1 diabetes. She graduated summa cum laude from graduate college, and I’m clearly very happy with her.
The issue is, she appears depressed and has gained a variety of weight (50-plus kilos) on her small body. I do know she’s delicate about her weight, however after I go to her, she doesn’t watch what she’s consuming, and her sweet-aholic boyfriend both doesn’t care or is unaware of the harm diabetes can have on an obese particular person.
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My father was diabetic and died at 55. By then, he was blind, and each a part of his physique had been affected by this horrible illness. I have to do one thing, however I don’t know tips on how to strategy her about this. I don’t wish to alienate her, however I do know she’s headed down a really harmful path if she doesn’t take higher care of herself. Please give me some concepts on tips on how to HELP. — ALARMED DAD IN THE SOUTH
DEAR DAD: Have an in-person dialog about this together with your daughter and embrace her boyfriend. Clarify to them that diabetes can run in households and may trigger extreme harm if ignored and left untreated, as you already know. Is your daughter conscious that diabetes triggered your father’s incapacity and untimely demise? She must know.
It’s essential that she seek the advice of an endocrinologist and study to handle her situation, which can contain medicine, modification of her weight-reduction plan and an everyday schedule of train. Inform her you like her and can assist her if she would really like. Then cross your fingers that she’s going to hear and her boyfriend will cease being her enabler.
— Pricey Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also called Jeanne Phillips, and was based by her mom, Pauline Phillips. Contact Pricey Abby at DearAbby.com or P.O. Field 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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