Welcome to Declassified, a weekly humor column.
It’s time for that the majority festive of traditions: Having a go on the French!
Extra particularly, having a go on the French for what they eat at Christmas.
The Nice Foie Gras Battle has lengthy raged, after all. Again in 2000, when France held the rotating presidency of the Council of the EU, Jacques Chirac had his counterparts served foie gras and requested the room: “So, who doesn’t prefer it?” He then pulled again the heads of his fellow leaders and one after the other force-fed them in order that their livers turned hyperfattened (most likely).
Anyway, one thing else that the French maintain expensive is now underneath assault — and no, we don’t imply the European Parliament’s month-to-month journeys to Strasbourg! It’s cuisses de grenouilles (frog legs).
Consumption of the delicacy peaks throughout Christmas season in France, with round 100 million frogs killed annually to feed demand, in accordance with activists who’ve launched a marketing campaign pointing to attainable species extinction, cruelty and unsanitary transport situations — and no, we nonetheless don’t imply the European Parliament’s month-to-month journeys to Strasbourg!
France banned business frog looking within the Eighties and now imports most of its edible frogs from international locations akin to Indonesia and Turkey.
If frogs have it unhealthy, they aren’t alone. In Japan, pigeons are underneath assault, with a Tokyo taxi driver arrested on suspicion of intentionally driving right into a flock of the birds, killing one in every of them.
Suspect Atsushi Ozawa “used his automobile to kill a typical pigeon,” within the Japanese capital final month, and was arrested for violating wildlife safety legal guidelines, a police spokesperson informed Agence France-Presse.
The suspect informed police he had pushed into the birds as a result of “roads are for folks. It’s as much as the pigeons to keep away from automobiles,” in accordance with native media. That’s an attention-grabbing protection and one which was rebuked by the pigeons’ lawyer, who identified that “the sky is for birds (and clouds).”
Whereas there was sympathy for Tokyo’s pigeons, it hasn’t been the identical for crows, which have been focused by metropolis authorities after complaints that their love of garbage left on the street by eating places was making a multitude of the roads.
Requested concerning the EU’s proposals to crack down on frogs, pigeons and crows, a spokesperson mentioned the whole animal management funds was spent on looking GW950m, or Dave to his mates — the wolf chargeable for killing Fee chief Ursula von der Leyen’s beloved pony, Dolly.
CAPTION COMPETITION
“Not going to lie, I assumed Santa would have a beard — and charisma.”
Are you able to do higher? E mail [email protected] or on Twitter/X @pdallisonesque
Final time we gave you this picture:
Thanks for all of the entries. Right here’s the most effective from our postbag — there’s no prize aside from the present of laughter, which I believe we are able to all agree is way extra invaluable than money or booze.
“I’m positive the rats that plague Paris have their breeding grounds proper down there!” by Philippe Defechereux.
Paul Dallison is POLITICO‘s deputy EU editor.